Roots Before Branches
by Karrie101
Summary: Arizona has finally graduated. Now it's time to make a fresh start in a new school. Will she finally find her soul mate? Or will her ex friends from her old school destroy her life?
1. Chapter one: The beginning

**Hey everyone, I finally found the time and inspiration to write a new story about Grey's anatomy. This is just the start, but I promise a very interesting love story hope everyone reads it! **

**Like always all beta mistakes are mine**

**XOXO me **

It was a rainy day, so I stayed inside for a while. My mother is working and my sister is with friends. The summer vacation is almost over. I graduated, so it is time for a new education. I want to become a teacher, because I'm very good with kids. I'm enjoying my vacation, but I'm ready to meet some new people in my life. I abandoned all my friends, because they suck and they let me down all the time. So some new friends would be nice. Really nice. I only have my lesbian neighbor left, Meredith Grey. She is my best friend for over 10 years now, but still I don't believe she is gay, I mean look at her. She doesn't look gay. She was the only one who gives a shit about me. My mother thinks we have a relationship, because we do a lot together. But that's not true. I know I'm gay to, but that doesn't mean we are doing stuff. Also she has a girlfriend, so she is very busy lately. My mother thinks I'm bisexual, that's not true. I'm scared of telling her that I don't like boys at all. She will not except me in that way. Maybe she will kick me out of the house if she finds out. We are all very religious, and I don't believe the bible says it's oke to be gay. So I shut my mouth if she is around. My older sister lives with my dad. She knows I am gay. I haven't seen my dad for a while. I believe it's been 2 years since I saw him. He kicked me out of the house, because I doesn't agree with his opinion all the time. He pushed me down the stairs and hit me several times. So I packed my stuff and went to my mom. That was very difficult. It changed me. The relationship between my two sisters and me is very bad. My younger sister lives with me and my mother, but my older sister lives with my dad and I don't see her often. This is me, Arizona Robbins a 17 year old lesbian. I'm only 'out' with my 'friends'. I'm not ashamed for that. If people ask me I will tell them. But gay is not the only thing I am. I want to make a fresh start, and being the lesbian girl on my school isn't part of my plan. Some people from my old school named: George O'Malley and Izzie Stevens are coming to my new school to. So I hope they can keep their mouth shut.

I'm a very complicated human. I love series like Glee. Music? Most of the time Simple plan or something. I love punk rock. Opera is also very awesome. The phantom of the opera is a movie I watch a lot I have blond hair and blue eyes. Some days I can be a really girly girl, and sometimes I want to be the boy. That is very confusing, but part of being gay. I was in love with one of my friends on my other school for almost 1 ½ years. Her name is Addison. But it never worked out. She doesn't saw me that way. She broke my heart a million times. Now I'm over that and I'm ready for a fresh start on a new school. Who knows what the future will bring. Today is one of my typical holyday days. I spent my whole day reading a thick book and watching tv, or series on the computer. The weather was a disaster for most of the people, because it is raining. But I like the rain. I always go walking in the forest with my sister's dog while it is raining. I don't mind getting wet and dirty. I love to play music when I walk. I like to pretend I'm in a video clip. Sometimes I get sad. Sometimes I cry. But when I do, I make sure I'm always alone (or drunk ).

Today is one of those days. I'm really sad. Just thinking about my (ex)friends, my dad, just everything. My first love, who is now ignoring me for no reason, is still in my mind. She never left. I hate Addison now, so when I see her in my dreams (again) it's not a dream anymore. It turns out in some kind of scene from 'nightmare on Elmstreet' when everybody dies in a horrible way. She keeps me awake at night, and she knows that. In the past I always dreamed about Addison. How we spent the rest of our lives together. But that isn't in my mind anymore. I hate her. She put me through so much the last year. I will never forget the day I finally kissed her. There were no feelings at al. While our lips touched, when I felt her breath, the smell of her hair. It left me cold. When she left, she took a little bit of me with her. If she wanted that or not. It's now almost a month ago. You could say I'm pretty desperate, still thinking about her. But since I realize she isn't my soulmate I have never been so empty. No happy love songs anymore. Not even sad songs. Only the silence was good enough. I don't want emotions. I hate them. They make me week. In the past I would do anything to be with her. Now she is my worst nightmare. And I don't know why. I want nothing to do with love anymore. It's letting me down ever since. I love the feeling, and my dreams are a lot better, but it makes me look like a fool. It makes me do weird things. Like making long love letters (who nobody really reads). Like having the same dream every night, because she was in it and that just makes my day. Not wanting to wake up, because my dreams were a lot better than real life. Making story's for fanfiction with her in it. I did it all. It was making me happy at that point. Now I feel miserable. Sometimes I want somebody who loves me even more than I loved Addison and sometimes I just want to be alone.

My mother always tries to find a nice guy for me, but we all know that that isn't going to work with me.

As I'm walking though the forest I'm still thinking. The smell of the forest while it's raining makes me want to cry. Just cry. No reason in particular. I close my eyes. In about an hour my best friend will come over. I don't want to see her right now. Seeing her happy with her girlfriend makes me even more depressed. Her girlfriend isn't really pretty, but the inside is also important. oke now the important stuff. Tonight I'm going to the gaybar with O'Malley. He is fun to go out with. He is straight, but he doesn't mind to see lesbians kissing. I want to forget. So moving on is easier if you're drunk. Sometimes it's good to drink. I always get very emotional if I drink, but not tonight. Tonight is my night to find peace.

Meredith came to help me find the perfect look, and even now it took like forever to find it, I looked beautiful. The doorbell rings. O'Malley is here. I put my phone in my bra (because I had no pockets), took a last look in the mirror before opening the door. He was looking good. O'Malley was always very handsome. "Heeey" he said cheerful. "Ready?!" "Yes, are you?" I asked back "Yes" he smiled. He was always so happy. Sometimes a little bit too much happy. It's driving me crazy. I closed the door behind me. Now there's no way back.


	2. Chapter two: The girl from the bar

**Hey everyone XD couldn't stop writing. I know my chapters could be longer, but I like it this way. Please review me! I REALLY REALLY love that! That is my drive to continuing writing, so please. Let me know what you think of it. I will do my best to satisfy everyone.**

**All betamistakes are mine, like always. KEEP READING AND REVIEWING PLEASE!**

**XOXO**

I'm drunk. The alcohol was everywhere, so why not take it. I'm not an alcoholic, but every once in a while it's oke. It makes me… well, more me. O'Malley was drinking wine by the bar. Watching lesbians kiss. I was dancing with…. I don't know actually. She was really hot, but not my type. She was a girly girl. With skirt and pink top. No I like boyish girls. No heels, just sneakers, boxer, a baggy jeans, t-shirts…. I love girls with short hair. I want it to, but my hairstyle isn't great for a short haircut. She was dancing against my body with her hands in my neck. She was a great dancer. It almost turned me on. Almost! She came closer and closer. And before I know it she is kissing me. Tenderly, gently. I tasted her lip-gloss. I smelled her perfume. It was really nice. I don't know for how long we stood there. Then we had to stop because we have to breathe too. I open my eyes. "what was your name again?" I yelled (because the music was so loud) "I'm Teddy" she smiled. "You are a very nice kisser" she yelled back. I looked around and saw O'Malley watching us. He was just staring. Omg this is pretty awkward…. But what the hell. I walked to the bar. "George, will you please stop staring at us like that… you are really disgusting." He looked at me with still that dreamy look on his face "but you guys are so sexy" he was laughing. I ignored that. I felt my head turning red while I order 2 more shots. I turned around to see where Teddy went. She just stood there. Being pretty. Again I turned to the bar to get the drinks. "thank you" I said to the barman. He handed me 2 shots of goldstrike. I walked to Teddy and gave her one. It tasted good. When we were finished I let my hand touch her hair and brought her face closer to mine. I kissed her back. I could taste the goldstrike better now. I hear her glass falling on the ground. She is overwhelmed. It was nice. One hand was touching my shoulder, and it wasn't Teddy's, so I opened my eyes, surprised. It was another girl. She came close to my ear and whispered "I think you are really hot" she giggled. Teddy didn't appreciate that very much. She pushed me away. "I have to go to the bathroom, excuse me" she turned around and walked away. The other girl smiled at me. The songs switched. That was her chance to grab me by my waist. She was all over me. It was really really nice. In the corner of my eye I saw O'Malley watching me. This girl was pretty to. Again a girly girl, but she was a really good dancer. She was shaking her booty now. That was my chance to sneak away. I walked to O'Malley. "Hey, are you enjoying yourself?" he asked rhetorically . "Yeah, what about you? Why are you all alone? There are so many nice boys available." I said sarcastic. I smiled. He didn't smile back. He turned around to grab his drink from the bar. "You want a drink?" the barman asked me. "No thanks" teddy was back. She wasn't looking very happy. She was looking to the other girl, who was now flirting with someone else. I walked to her. Still looking at her face. "Hey, why that sad face?" I touched her cheek with my hand. Her face turned red. "It's nothing" she said nervous looking at the ground. I hugged her. "What is it?" I whispered in her ear. "I like you" she said quick and soft. I let go of her, to look her in the face. Now she was really red. Her eyes are wet. I kissed her. This time it was different. She wasn't like the rest. She really wanted to work things out between us. I could tell, because she was trying to do her best. O'Malley was coming to our direction. I looked at my watch. "Shit! I have to go. I have to be home early" I said, lightly panicking. "Ow (she was surprised) Can I have your number then? Maybe we could go on a date or something?" "Oke sure" I smiled again. Now my face was turning red.

After switching phone numbers it was time to go home.

"So, are you in love?" George asked slowly on our way back. "Of course not. I don't know the girl. I just met her." "But she seems to like you very much" he was teasing me. He smiled his evil smile like always when he thought naughty things. "I made pictures of you 2 kissing" still that smile on his face. "Iww George you are disgusting!" I yelled. He laughed. People who passed by were staring at us. "Delete it!" I yelled again. "My friends will think this is very interesting too." again that evil smile. "No lesbian stuff on my new school, oke? I don't want the reputation of the lesbian." I Said mad. "Oke, oke." Still smiling. "I will tell them eventually myself."


	3. Chapter three: First day of school

_Sorry that it took me so long to write my next chapter. It's a short one. I'm very busy at the moment. I just couldn't find the time. Sorry! Hope you like it. Let me know what you think, please! _

**Chapter three: first day of school**

Today is my first day of school. I was very nervous, because I didn't know what to expect. Finally a new start. That's all I need. Teddy and I were texting the whole time, and I'm starting to get feelings for her. She is actually a really nice girl. She wasn't exactly my type, but she was close enough.

It was hard to find my class without getting lost. The building was enormous.

Finally there, just in time. The class was almost full with new faces. All pretty nervous. I could tell. A man came to me. "Hello, I'm Bram your new teacher, and your name is?" "Arizona Robbins" he take a look at his list with names. " Welcome you are just in time, take a seat. " he said when he found my name on the list. Everyone was quiet. I didn't know anybody. We did games to know each other better. The people were actually nice. At lunch break I walked in the hallway. My books were very heavy so I stopped to put them in my locker.

I hear someone laughing, so I look at them. I wasn't very interesting to look at. But then… I don't know what it was. A girl… she was just walking in the hallway. Everything was like a movie. It happened in slowmotion. I couldn't help staring. She was so beautiful. She was talking to some friends around her. Her smile, her perfect white teeth. I couldn't breathe. She was breathtaking. Hair, black as night. When she passed bye we made eye contact. That was the first time I felt something. Butterflies in my stomach. Firework in my mind. It was magical. Love at first sight.

She's in my mind during the day. I want to know that girl. Who was she? "Do you know the answer of the first exercise?" I didn't react. Still thinking about 'that girl'. "Hello?" She interrupts my thoughts. "Sorry, what?" it was a girl from my class. "If you know the answer of the first exercise" She said again. "What was your name again?" "I'm Meredith." "Sorry, I was thinking about something else and I don't know the answer." "Ohh, that's oke" She stopped for a second. "So what were you thinking about?" She asked, looking at her assignment. "Just…. Nothing" I looked away, a little embarrassed (my face turning red). "Do you want to hang out some time?" She asks. I didn't want to talk right now. She still interrupts my thoughts and that was annoying. She didn't notice that. "Yeahh, sure!" I want to sound enthusiastic. "Nice" We switched phone numbers. She was a nice girl, and maybe we could be friends. But for now I was busy with homework and thinking about my mystery girl.

This wasn't the first time I liked a girl. In fact I never felt this way about a boy. And I know that I never will. My class was very nice, because we had a lot of boys. Boys don't make drama, like girls do. They are just so easy about everything (except one thing). I had a lot of 'male' friends, but we grow apart. The most boys ended their relationships, and start to have feelings for me. That was the worst part. So I just have to let them go. I'm always in the friendzone, until their relationship ends. They become so desperate that they want me to fill their emptiness. And everybody knows that as soon as there are emotions involved, it could never work. I broke a lot of hearts last year, and also my heart broke. I fell in love with my friend and proved everybody that a friendship with emotions doesn't work.

This feelings aren't new for me. I'm afraid that she will also break my heart (not that there is much left of it anyway). This is why I hate feelings, but I can't stop them. It's too late to go back, so I just going to let this happen.

That night she visits me in my dream. I played the scene when I first saw her over and over that night. Maybe she was also a freshman? I don't know. But I definitely want to meet her. So I will!


	4. Chapter four: 'That girl'

_Hey everyone, chapter four is here! Hope you like it. _

_Ps. All beta mistakes are mine. please keep continuing reviewing! I really really like that! _

_(And for the mystery guest who hates my grammar: Thank you for the advice. I know I'm not very good at grammar. I'll do my best to write as good as possible. If you don't want to tell me who you are, fine. But you can say it a little kinder than you are doing now. You don't need to curse. We are mature people. Thank you!)_

**Chapter four: 'that girl' **

The next day of school, I entered the building. "Heyy Arizona!" I turned around. Meredith stood in the hallway. I waited for her. "Good morning." "I talked to our mentor Bram yesterday, and he told me that there is a student who is changing classes. So we get a new student in our class. I know it is a she, and she is coming today. Isn't that exciting! I'm very curious." My heart stopped for a second. What if it was the girl from yesterday?

When we walked to our class we saw April walking. "Hello, classmates!" She yelled across the hallway. It was almost awkward. People were staring at us. April is also a classmate of us. She acts like her life goal is to be friends with us. She was nice, but very direct. She is a real drama magnet. It's almost like she attracts it. She was now waving at us. "HEY ARIZONA, MEREDITH! OVER HERE!" She yelled again. We were forced to walk too her. Everybody was looking frustrated at us. "Hey, sup April?" I said not very enthusiastic and a little bit irritated so I looked the other way. "Did you hear about the new student? I heard she is exchanging classed, because she hates her class." She smiled (a little bit too happy if you ask me) "Yeah I was just telling Arizona the same thing" said Meredith. "Do you know who it is?" I asked. I assumed that April knew everything. She was always busy finding the newest gossip. She smiled again, now I was showing interest. "Yes, I know who it is! Of course, I know everything" She smiled very evil. "Photographic memory? Remember?" "Yes, very interesting" I was annoyed now "Tell me, who is it?" "I'm not going to tell you that (she laughed)" "Why not?" now I'm starting to get pissed... "Because I can." "WHAT's that for a crappy reason? You are annoying." I walked away. Still pissed off. Meredith followed me. "Leave her. She is just trying to make you mad. Why are you so curious anyway?" "She is just so annoying…. I can't help it. I hate people who are always teasing others, just because they know more."

My phone ringed. It was Teddy. 'Hey, good morning. I miss you very much. Do you want to go to the movies Saturday? I really want to see you! Can't stop thinking about you! Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo '

Ahh that was so sweet! She was amazing. She was everything I could ever ask for, but I wasn't sure I was feeling IT. So I texted back 'I miss you too! I would love to hang out Saturday.' Meredith interrupted me. "Hurry up! We are already late!" I continued 'xoxoxo miss you too!'

It was quiet when I opened the door of the class. Everybody was already inside. We were a little bit late. Bram continued his story "So that is what you have to do for tomorrow. Now something else, (he took off his glasses) there is someone from the other class, who is exchanging classes this week. So we'll have a new student. Don't ask why she's exchanging classes, because I don't know." He stopped for a second and then continued. "She is coming this week. She is ill now, so if she is better she will come in our class. I want everybody to act normal and don't make such a big deal of it. That is that." Now he starts talking about his lesson, but I already lost him.

She didn't come that day. That was disappointing. I couldn't wait. I just want to know if it is 'that girl'. After I walked away from April this morning, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to tell me who it is. So I'll guess I just have to wait….

The next day's felt like years. I didn't saw 'that girl' so my suspicion that it was her was driving me crazy. How is it possible that she is driving me crazy after one meeting?

I still ignored April. When I walked in the hallway O'Malley passed by. "I know who it is" He said and walked away. Before I could even react, he was gone. What was that? 'I know who it is?' Who does he mean? He couldn't know about the girl, because I didn't tell him. Still thinking I walked further. Until I was rudely interrupted by a locker, hitting my face. I fell on the ground. "Ouch!" I said bringing my hand to my forehead. Someone closed the locker immediately. It was a pretty boy (He wasn't in my year. Le looked much older). "Omg I'm so sorry. Are you oke?" He kneeled to look at my forehead. "Where were you with your head? You silly girl" He looked at me. I still wasn't talking. Maybe I it's better to bring you to the nursery. He grabbed my bag and books. I was still looking around. Not knowing that to do. I saw some people looking at me. He took my hand and pulled me up. I was too dizzy. I couldn't stand on my feet. Before I fell again he dropped the books on the floor and grabbed my waist. "Are you oke? Please say something!" I blinked very often, but my vision was still very indistinct. Eventually I was able to speak. "s-so d-d-dizzy" "Maybe it's better for me to carry you to the nursery." He said it slowly. "Mark, will you help me carrying this books and her bags?" He was talking to another boy who was standing across the hallway. I didn't notice him earlier, but he was very handsome too. He grabs the stuff from the floor and follows us.

There I was. In the arms of a very handsome boy. I closed my eyes. I was feeling very sick. Like I have been in a rollercoaster over 100 times. "It's oke, we are almost there."


	5. Chapter five: Keep it simple

**A/N: Hey everyone. I'm so sorry I kept you waiting. I was very busy studying. I try to write sooner next time. **

**One more thing: PLEASE KEEP REVIEWING! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! That would be very awesome. Let me know what you think. It's almost time for Calzona! Let me know what you think. I'd like to meet all of you!**

I'll texts my mom to come and pick me up. The lady of the nursery looks at me. "I'll take her home!" said the boy quickly. "I'm Derek by the way." He was sitting on a bench next to the bed. "I'm Arizona. You don't have to bring me home; my mom comes pick me up…" My face turned red. I was just a little embarrassed that I couldn't get home by myself. "It's no problem. My car is on the corner. I'll take you." I couldn't refuse. He tried to be kind to me, so I couldn't blow him off, just because I was embarrassed. "Okay, if you are sure…" "Yeah, no problem. My friend Mark will come with us." He pointed at the guy who carried my books and bag in the hallway. He stood in the doorway. Like I wasn't embarrassed at all, Mark has to come with us. Mark grabbed my bag from the chair. "Are you ready?" He asked me. "Yeahh, it's just a headache. I'm not dizzy anymore." I stood up slowly to make sure I didn't pass out. Derek grabbed my arm. "I'm fine" I said, but he didn't let go. It felt very uncomfortably. When we passed by, people were staring at us. Derek didn't mind.

It was cold when we walked along the parking lot. It was cold. I couldn't remember where I left my coat. Derek saw me shuddering. He took off his coat and gave it to me. "Thanks" I said. That was very sweet of him. I wondered which car was Derek's, but my question was already answered. Mark walked to a black mercedes benz. Mark dropped my stuff on the backseat of the car. I sat in the Front seat. Mark was a little irritated that I took his seat.

It was quiet in the car. Nothing more than the music of the radio on the background. Mark was playing on his phone. I look at Derek. He's mumbling along with the music. It's a funny thing to see. I laughed softly. "Are you laughing at me?" He looked me in the eyes. I stopped giggling. "You are funny" I said. He was teasing me, because when I said that he turns the volume up and sings very off-key along with the song. Mark looks at him with that wtf expression on his face. "What the hell are you doing?" I laugh. Derek is a nice guy.

"This is me" I pointed at my house. He stopped the car. "Do you and Mark want to come in and maybe grab a drink or something?" I asked when I opened the door. "No thanks. Maybe some other time" Derek said. I looked disappointing, maybe he doesn't like me. He saw me looking disappointing. "It's not that I don't want to, but I've already plans. I'm sorry" He smiled at me. "Okay, I guess I'll see you guys in school then. Thanks for the ride." I smiled back. When I closed the door he opened the window. "Heyy Arizona, can I have your number?"

He texted me the whole evening. He texted me stupid random things like: 'Mark is eating French fries.' Like I care? But it is very funny. The door bell rings. It's Teddy. "Heey! I missed you, how are you?" She kissed me on the cheek. She looked ridiculous good.

We watch a movie together. We are alone at home, so we didn't watch that much movie. We kiss and cuddle the whole time. It is very romantic.

My head is still with Derek… She did not notice that. We cook together a delicious meal. I couldn't cook very well, but she is a nice chef. I turned on the volume of the music. Singing, dancing and cooking was not the best idea. I dropped (by accident) the eggs on the ground. We laughed.

My phone rings. It's Derek.

Quickly I turned off the Music. "Hello" I sounded surprised. "Hey with Derek" He said very cheerful. "yeahh, I know." I giggled. I look at Teddy. She is looking at me. She was signing to me. She wanted to know if it were my parents. "Do you want to hang out tomorrow after school?" Derek asked. At that point Teddy starts to make very loud noises.

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!" "Teddy shut up." I said. She didn't listen.

Teddy yells "Come back to the bed" *various sex noises*

"I hear you are very busy" Said Derek he laughed very hard. "Sorry. It's my 'very mature' friend Teddy" I sounded sarcastic.

"Aye! Pass the weed" yelled Teddy. "Please I'm trying to have a normal conversation with Derek." I'm begging now.

Teddy: *blasting out curse words*

"I'll call you tomorrow okay?" Said Derek (still laughing). "Okay, sorry about my friend here….bye" I hung up.

"PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!" She yelled. "Too late, I already hung up." She laughed. "Thank you for being a mature person!" I said very sarcastic. "You're welcome" She smiled with that fake big smile actor's use in movies.

Derek didn't text me the rest of the day. Teddy is so annoying sometimes.

I heard something. Someone opened the door. My mother came home. "Hey honey" She smiled "That smells really good." She points at the food.

She didn't know about me and Teddy. Teddy is fine with that. She understands that I didn't want drama in my life right now, so we keep it simple.


	6. Chapter six: The unexpected

**Hey everyone! Sorry that it took so long for me to post the next chapter. I really wanted this chapter to be special and I really had to think about that. My inspiration level is pretty low lately. So the story starts to get complicated. And I hope you like it! Please keep reviewing! I really like that xoxo**

The next morning I felt sick. Maybe the food wasn't good… My tummy hurts and I'm a little bit dizzy. It is Saturday and I'm bored. I watch a movie. I like to hang out at home in my pajamas all day! I was chilling on the couch with popcorn everywhere. The doorbel ring. Shit! I look like a mess. Lucky me, it's just the mailman. Nothing interesting, just some letters for my mom.

The doorbel ring again. Jesus! Leave me alone already! I open the door. I dropped the mail and my mouth fell open. "Derek? What are you doing here?" I was really surprised! Derek looks at me from head to toe. Then I realized how messy I looked. "I guess this is a bad timing?" He laughed. He stepped in my direction. There's some popcorn in your hair. He came very close to take the popcorn out of my hair. "Come in" I said still surprised. He stepped inside. "Would you give me a minute" I run upstairs. I grabbed a shirt I found on the ground and some pants. I brush my hair and teeth and put some make-up on. "That's better" I said to myself watching in the mirror. Derek was still waiting in the hallway when I came downstairs. "Wow, that was fast" He laughed. "Yeahh, sorry… I didn't expect anyone today so…." "My bad. I'm sorry. I was in the neighborhood and thought of you." He smiles his sexy smile. "Ahh that is so sweat! Thank you, so what are the plans for today?" "I thought maybe could watch a movie together?" "Yeahh that's okay!" We walked to the living room and I wiped the popcorn of the couch. "How do you eat popcorn?" He laughed and pointed at the popcorn on the flour. "Sorry I'd like to throw it in the air and try to catch it with my mouth, but I'm not very good at it as you can see." "hahahah you silly girl! Maybe we could practice together?" He could actually catch the popcorn with his mouth! We did that the whole movie. He won. We laughed and had so much fun! He is such a nice guy I think we could be great friends! "Let's play a game" I said. "The person who puts the most popcorn in his mouth wins." I have a big mouth so I thought I would win. But he won easily. I laughed. His face is so funny when he tried to put some more popcorn in his mouth. He laughed because of me and he almost choked in the popcorn. He coughs. "Are you alright?" I said when I came closer. He looks up. His beautiful blue eyes right in front of me. Then he kissed me. Softly and gentle. I didn't expect it, and I knew I couldn't do it, because I have Teddy. But for some reason I didn't pull back. He stopped. I opened my eyes. He looked at me. "I really wanted to do that" He said. Then he grabbed my waist and pushed me against his body. He kissed me again., longer this time. He pushed me on my back on the couch. Still kissing me. He is a really good kisser. I have to pull back! I have Teddy! But I didn't. He had me in his power. I didn't do a thing. I just let it happen. I could smell his breath and tasted the popcorn. One hand (of him) in my hair, the other on my hips. "hmmm…. So… good…" He mumbled between kisses. I love the smell of his deodorant, his sticky hair between my fingers. It is nice, but I felt guilty. I just want to be friends. This is the reason why I can't be just friends with guys. They always want and expect more. His Phone ring. Saved by his Phone. He stops to look at his Phone. It's Mark. He looks at the time. "Ohh I'm sorry, but I have to go." I didn't react. I'm in some kind of trans. "Your face is really white. Are you okay?" I stare at the ceiling. My eyes are watery. Then I finally react. "I'm fine." I stood up. Maybe a little bit too fast. Everything went black. My body felt weak when I hit the cold floor.

I'm woozy when I could finally move again. I saw a guy. I'm in his arms on the floor. Now I slowly start to get the feeling in my body back. Something cold against my forehead is very annoying. It´s an icepack. Someone must picked it out of the freezer or something. It helped to clear my head again. I blinked my eyes several times. "It's okay, I'm here" He whispered. I moved my fingers a little bit. They were cold, just like the rest of my body. "You feel so cold." He said. I moved my arms and legs a little bit. "Where..(Stopped for a second) am I?" I whisper. I frowns my eyebrows. "Sorry what did you say?" He said. "Where am I?" Now I could talk a little bit louder. "You don't know where you are?" His voice sounds confused. I wanted to get up. The floor is so cold. I moved my head. But he lifts me up and lay me on the couch. He put some blankets around me, still I couldn´t get any warmer. "No seriously! Where am I? And who are you?" My head is empty. "Maybe you are just confused for a second. I'm Derek, remember?" He waited in the hope he saw a sign of me remembering. That didn't come. He continued. "We were on the couch watching a movie, but when I had to go home, you passed out." I didn't react. Still confused. After a moment I finally say "For how long did I pass out?" "Almost 30 minutes." He said. "Do you know your name?" The guy named Derek continued. "ofcourse, I'm not stupid." "So? What is your name?" He asked.

Now I start to think. "It's uhmm…" My head is spinning like crazy… this feels not right! I'm freaking out. My eyes got bigger and he saw me starting to panic. "Oww god… What is wrong with me? I don't know my name…" I want to get up. He pushed my head back. "Lay down, please" He said immediately. I started crying. Derek grabbed a Phone on the table and starts to call some people. My heart is beating like crazy. "I.. I..I don't…" I stuttered. Derek is talking to some people and then suddenly he hangs up. "Easy! Easy!" He said. "Everything will be fine." I saw a little bit panic in his eyes. My head is searching for the answers. But there is nothing left to search for. It's gone…..


	7. Chapter seven: Something familiar

**Happy new year everybody! That hopes and dreams may come true this year! Here my 7****th**** chapter of Roots before Branches. Hope you'll like it as much as I do xoxo**

My mother is panicking. "Doctor please tell me what's wrong with her!" She sounds hysterical. The doctor walks away with my mother. "So that is my mother?" I ask Derek who sits besides the bed. "Yes she is." He explained a few things this morning. So now I know my name, where my house is and my family and Derek. It's sort of relaxing, not knowing anything. You can't worry about something.

My mother is crying when she stepped in the room. The doctor followed her. "Good afternoon Arizona. How are you feeling?" He asked politely. "I'm fine thank you. Can you please tell me how this happened?" "Yes I can." He looks at Derek. "Could you please give us a moment?" Derek made eye contact with the doctor and stood up "I'll make myself some coffee then." He walks away.

The doctor continues "Your memory blocked it's self. That only happens when you are in some kind of situation physically and your mind is in conflict with your body. Than it blocks it's self. It's only temporary so that's a good thing. The bad thing is that we don't know how long it takes for your memory to come back. You and only you can control your memory. So it's up to you. When your head and body are in peace with each other, every piece of the puzzle falls into place." The doctor smiles at me. This is not what I expected to hear at all. But what happened that is so horrible that my mind blocked it's self?

The next morning the doctors told me I could go home. Derek left yesterday in the evening. I want to go to school really badly. My mother didn't think that is such a good idea. But I'll go anyway.

In the car I felt my phone ringing. A text. Who could that be?

´Hey! I miss you! Long time no see. How are you? Want to hang out? I had so much fun the other day. Let me know xxxxxxx Teddy'

Who is Teddy? Hmmmm some friend of mine I guess.

The first time I got home. Everything feels so strange. I've been here before, but I can't remember. Every time I try to remember that, some black hole in my mind makes it impossible to think. I didn't do that much at home. Watched a little bit television and prepared myself to go to school tomorrow.

The next day:

I stand up early so I could make myself ready for school. Derek comes to pick me up. Mom didn't want me to go alone and I already knew Derek, so that's easy.

"Are you sure you are ready for school, honey?" Mom asks while opening the curtains. "Yes mom. I have to do something." I felt like the first day of school. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. My stomach didn't let me eat breakfast, so I left without it. Derek waited outside in his car. "Bye, mom." I closed the door behind me. Derek smiled. "Good morning. Ready for school?" He asked. "yeah, I guess…"

It's very crowded at school. There are so many students. More than I thought there would be. People were staring at us while I get out of the car. "Why are people staring at us?" I whispered at Derek. "I don't know. Just ignore them."

I didn't recognize anybody when I walked in the hallway. "Hey, Arizona" I turned around. "Heyy…uhmm… what is your name again?" I'm a little embarrassed. "It's me George?" He looked confused. "Ow yeah, sorry… I'm having a bad day or something. How are you?" I didn't know what to tell him. I couldn't tell everybody that I lost my memory. That is so embarrassing. "Ow, okay. Yeah I'm fine. Same old, same old" He smiled. I grabbed my phone.

Me: Derek! Some guy is talking to me in the hallway.

Derek: be right there, just a sec. ;)

Me: Hurry! :$

"What have you been up too lately? I haven't seen you in a while." George asked. "Ow yeah, I've been very busy with stuff." Still looking at my phone. "Stuff?" He asked. "Homework" "But we don't have ho.." "Hey, Time for class. Are you coming?" Derek interrupted George. Thank god. "Ow yeah, see you later!" I was relieved. "Thanks, Derek! Who is that guy anyway?" "That's George O'Malley. He is your friend, I guess." He smiled. "So this is you. (he pointed at a classroom) You have English. I have math. See you after class. I'll meet you here. Here are your books and good luck." He gave me the books and walked away. The hallway is empty, so I closed my eyes "I can do this, I can do this" I whispered to myself. When I open them again somebody passes by. She looks at me.

Those eyes… there is just something with those eyes. I have to find out what it is. I have seen her before. And even before I realize it, I said "hey, you?" She looked surprised at me. "Are you talking to me?" She came closer. "Yes, sorry but do I know you from somewhere?" These brown eyes… omg.. "You know me from school, I guess. I'm in my second year. I'm Callie. And you are?" She has a beautiful voice, but that doesn't sounds familiar. "I'm sorry. I'm Arizona, I thought I have seen you somewhere before." "Ohh no that's okay" She smiled. Now I know it for sure. I have seen her before. "Do you want to hang out sometime?" I said it even before realizing. She laughs "I'm sorry, you are so funny. But I only know you from school; we have different friend and stuff. So I don't think that would be a good idea. Sorry, I have to go. Bye" She just walked away. I didn't talk back. I did nothing.

English is boring. We watch a movie. I couldn't stop thinking about Callie. The doctor said: When your head and body are in peace with each other, every piece of the puzzle falls into place.

A have the feeling that this is the first piece of the puzzle. Now I just have to get it.


	8. Chapter eight: Callie?

**Heyy everyone! I'm sooooo sorry I haven't posted a chapter in a long time! This is a short chapter, but a good one. I have been so busy with school that I totally forget to write back! I'm soooo soooo sorry guys! Hope you like it **** let me know what you think of it! My English isn't that good, sorry for that! **

**Love you all so much! xoxoxo**

That day Teddy texted again. She wants to hang out. I really want to know who she is, so I decided to meet her at my place. School is over. I survived my First day. It was difficult talking to people who know me, while I didn't know them. Derek is a great helper. He brought me home. "So, do you want to hang out?" Derek asked. "maybe go to the movies or something" "Are you asking me out?" I'm surprised. "yeah, wel… before you lost your memory we were… sort of… busy..with each other" it took a while for him to find the words. "What are you saying? That we were dating? That you are my boyfriend? What?" Now I start panicking. I really want my memory, now more than ever. I'm confused. "I don't know.. We were never official, but I can tell that you are really in to me." He said with a grimace on his face. "I have to think about that." Confused about everything I get out of the car. "I'll see you tomorrow" I said and walked away. I'm upset and confused…. So confused….

I have to make myself ready. Teddy can come any second now. I look in the mirror and start to put on some more mascara. I didn't had much time, because the doorbell rings. I opened the door. A girl hugs me, before I had the chance to look at her. When she let go I could finally see how she looks like. She is pretty. Very girlish, high heels and a blazer. Blond/ brown long hair and beautiful eyes. "How are you beautiful?" She said. She didn't look familiar, she didn't sound familiar. "Beautiful?" I asked. Why did she call me that? She laughs. Always try to be the funny one. She kissed me on the lips. I pulled my head back. "What…..why….." I couldn't speak. This is the most confusing day of my life. Who is this woman and why did she kiss me? "What is wrong? Are you brainwashed or something?" She laughed. It is meant to be a joke, but she couldn't be more right. "Uhmm no. I'm just…I don't know… I'm just having a bad day." I said. I walked into the kitchen to grab a drink for Teddy and me. I knew there's a bottle of liquor in the fridge. I could really use a drink right now. I mixed it with coke for myself. I gave Teddy the glass without liquor. "So, how are you Teddy?" "I'm fine thanks. I really missed you. You seem so busy all the time. I just want to see my girl once in a while." "Your girl?" I asked. "Yes. We are official right? And I see your parents aren't home. Maybe we could do stuff we haven't been able to do in a while." She smiled. My mind filled itself with dirty images. I decided to play the game with her. "What kind of stuff do you want to do then?" I sounded a little bit naughty. "Well (She came closer to me) with your parents home I could never do this." She came closer and closer. So close that it's almost scary, but the most scary part was that I actually liked it. She smells like strawberries. She kisses me. Gently. Her lips soft as satin. It's a nice feeling. Am I gay? Is that possible? After what Derek said to me I didn't believe it. Anything is possible. Everybody could say things to me and try to make me believe it's true. But is it? That is the question. I really like kissing with teddy. That's a fact.

The next day started just normal. Derek picked me up. The school is very crowded, like always. I felt so alone… there are so many people here. It doesn't make any sense… I walked alone outside the school. The sun was shining. It felt lovely on my cold skin. The green grass looked tempting to sit on, so I did. I dropped my books next to me and closed my eyes.

"hey, Arizona right?" I open my eyes. It is Callie. "Hey, long time no see, how are you?" It surprised me. She sits down with me on the grass. "Do you still want to hang out some time with me?" She asked a little bit shy. "Yeahh, why not!" She is the only one I want to see right now. She is the only one I feel comfortable with. "Do you have time after school? I don't mind if you don't have time. I should have ask you earlier." She looks in my eyes. Her beautiful brown eyes. She smiled. "No it's fine! I have time after school! What do you have in mind?" She smiled again, she played with the grass in her hands. "Uhmm I don't know… maybe we could chill at my place?" "yeah that's fine." "Okay, I have a car. You can ride with me if you want?" Callie asked. "yeah that's fine! I don't have a car so…." I smiled. This is the First thing that feels completely right. Her smile, Her eyes, just everything…. She's perfect. "Okay! See yoy after school. I have class now. bye!" She stood up and walked away. She waived at me. "okay, bye!" I waived back. I can't wait.


End file.
